Trusting Our Inner-Wisdom

Amelie's Sunset Heart

Stepping outside of the mainstream takes courage.  Once you're there, staying there takes both a commitment to your own ideals and trust. But how do we learn to trust our inner-wisdom?  The first step is by paying attention with moment-to moment awareness.

Our decision to homeschool didn't come easy.  We had all of the same questions and doubts that everyone else has.  Can we really do this on our own?  Will she really get the best education we can provide?  How will we create positive socialization?  What about college?

Now that we're doing it, I find that those same questions still arise... but so do their answers.  We began our homeschooling journey in preschool.  A combination of disappointment with the available choices and love for learning together with our little one brought us here.  Now it's four years later and we're two and half months into first grade.  What's keeping us here?  A commitment to paying attention and trusting in the process.

I recently attended a debate for County Superintendent of Schools.  While neither candidate seemed to have the same vision for our schools that I would like to see, one of them possessed a perspective that stood in stark contrast to my own.  In support of standardized testing and basing teacher's wages on their student's performance, she said in a slick voice, "Data makes the invisible visible."  I wholeheartedly disagree. 

What makes the invisible visible is not data but relationships.  No multiple choice examinations or collection of processed figures can replace what the human heart is capable of perceiving.  We don't need more "measurable" results.  We just need to listen more closely to our children. 

If you think back to when your kids were very small, you'll probably remember all of those early milestones -- stacking blocks, sorting objects, gripping crayons, drawing circles, naming shapes and colors... first steps, first words, hopping, skipping, and jumping.  As parents, we're naturally tuned into our children and we see each of these little miracles as they unfold.  Then something happens.  They turn five and we stop trusting ourselves.  We send them off to school and forget that we - more than anyone else - are equipped to understand them. 

Our cat has a debaucherous habit of waking us up in the middle of the night by knocking over anything and everything in his reach.  Last week, he jumped up on Am's dresser and startled her awake.  I actually didn't hear a thing until she came in to tell me about it.   

"I was scared and my heart was beating really fast, mama," she said.  "So I sat up and listened to my breath... and my heart slowed down again!"

If you've been following our blog, you know that mindfulness and breath awareness are essential elements in our core curriculum.  Hearing her say those words was the sweetest little gift -- more measurable than any test result or report card.

Whether you're educating at home or just committed to engaging in your child's education, paying attention moment to moment can help you stay connected to their inner-world.  When we when bring this level of awareness to our parenting, we see the little miracles as they unfold.  Often, the little things we notice are the greatest gifts of all.  They enrich our lives with joy and help us build a strong foundation for trusting our inner-wisdom, trusting the process of parenting, and trusting that life is the best teacher.

Day Four {Meditation Challenge}: Devotion, Monkey-Mind, & Cooked Spaghetti

I woke up this morning thinking about what it means to be devoted.  My morning was pretty chaotic yesterday and I missed my time of the zafu.  Then we rushed out of the house for the day and didn't get home until after dinner.  By the time I got my little one bathed and in bed, I was feeling more like sleeping than sitting.  But the house was so quiet and the smell of sage in my kitchen was drawing me into myself.  So into the classroom I went, sage and all, to sit. This isn't my usual meditation spot, but last night it felt like my own private zendo.  

The dictionary definition of devotion is: "profound dedication; consecration."  The etymology of the word is more revealing... (from the Latin) "de" means "all the way down" or "completely," (see de-) and "vovere" meaning "to vow" (see vow). So, we might say that being "devoted" to our practice means that we've made a promise from the bottom of our heart to sit each day.  It means that we are dedicated and motivated to waking up, to seeing our lives with more clarity, and to bringing peace into the world be creating peace within ourselves.  What does "devotion" mean to you?  Consider journal-writing about this question as a contemplative practice.

If you fell off of the pillow yesterday, today is the day to get back on.  If you haven't signed up for the challenge, there is no time like right now!  If you are still feeling uneasy about a busy mind, check out this article at Intent.com, Quiet Please! Taming Monkey Mind in Meditation. 

For the kiddos today, check out this exercise,Cooked Spaghetti, from Donna over at Yoga In My School.  Be sure find them on Facebook for more great tips on practicing with your kids. 

 

Please don't hesitate to ask a question or share your experience, mamas.  I'd love to hear from you!!  Much love & light.

Day One: Meditation Challenge {five steps to get started}

Zafu Meditation Cushion by OmMama on Esty

It's Day One of our fourteen day meditation challenge.  You're probably wondering where to begin or asking yourself, "how will I ever be able to sit still?" Here are five tips to help you get started.

The first step in a successful meditation practice is setting up space.  Choose a room or even just a corner that doesn't have a lot of traffic.  Clear out the clutter.  This is your sacred space and it should support your practice.

Consider adding a low table (or even a TV tray covered with a pretty cloth) to use for holding items that symbolize qualities you would like to embody through your meditation.  My table holds lavender (for calming), a candle (for insight), incense (as an offering of gratitude), and little stones balanced in a tower (for equanimity).  

Next, choose a cushion or pillow.  A couch cushion works just fine but as you continue to practice you might consider an organic buckwheat zafu like the one pictured above.  

The second step in a successful practice is choosing a good time to sit.  I prefer the mornings -- this helps me bring some of the stillness from my zafu into my day. Sitting at the same time each day will help your body get into a natural rhythm.

Step three is arriving on your cushion.  Wear comfortable clothes.  Cross your legs comfortably in front of you and sit with dignity.  (It's not necessary to sit in lotus.)  Relax your shoulders.  Place your hands gently on your thighs or consider holding them in a mudra.  Take a few moments to bring all of your awareness to this moment.  Feel your body settling in.  Fully arriving on your pillow will help your mind settle and make it easier to sit still.

Step four is noticing your breath.  Our breath connects us to each moment and acts as our anchor on (and off) the pillow.  Breathe normally through your nose and notice the sensation in your nostrils.  Relax your eyes and focus gently downward and a few feet in front of you.  

Step five is noticing what you feel.  Becoming aware of your experience (whatever that is) is the most important thing.  Hold yourself in compassion with non-judgmental acceptance.  As your thoughts arise, try watching them rather than letting your mind drift away with them.  When you realize that your mind has wandered, bring your focus back to your breath again.  The purpose is just to hold your seat and be present with whatever arises.

Try sitting for five or ten minutes the first day.  Remember that meditation is not about achieving a blissful, zoned-out state.  It's about becoming grounded in the moment and aware of your thoughts and feelings.  It's about learning to face whatever comes your way -- both in your mind and in your life.

When you go about your day, keep "holding your seat."  Bring your awareness back to your breath throughout the day.  For more information on starting a sitting practice, click here.  If you would like to sign up for our 14 Day Meditation challenge, click here.  If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask!

Much love & light to all!

Mindfulness Practice: Color & Emotion Journals

Encourage your small children to keep a Color Journal.  Before bed each night, ask him or her, "What color was your day?"  Then invite him or her to experiment with shapes and forms using only that color. 

For older children, encourage them to take a few minutes at bedtime to write about the emotions they experienced during the day.  Ask him to recall how his body felt during those times.  Did his stomach feel tight when he was angry?  Did she relax when she felt joy?  Parents might try this exercise too.  Ask yourself, "What were the causes of the happiness I felt today?"  Did you delight in others?  What unpleasant events did you experience?  How did you react? 

Try this practice for one week.  Then share your journals as a family.

A Wise Heart

We've been infusing our studies with the dharma since preschool.  Along with trips to Green Gulch Farm Zen Center and Spirit Rock Meditation Center we incorporate gathas, mantras, mindfulness exercises, the Eightfold path, the Brahma Viharas, and the Pāramitās into our studies.  We've worked out a pretty elaborate system over the years and it's been a real joy.  A. will be six on Thursday and she seems to truly enjoy this aspect of our home studies.  

At present, I'm writing a curriculum (based on our home studies) that follows the changing seasons and invites parents to engage in their child's inner-world.  Each month, we look at a virtue (compassion, loving-kindness, joy in others, equanimity, patience, generosity, wisdom, etc) and explore how nature is the best teacher.  I thought I'd share a bit of our routine here for all of you who are considering homeschooling or wondering how to incorporate your spiritual path into your daily schedule.

We start each day by lighting a candle and making an offering of incense in the kitchen. Then we listen to mantras and cook together.  A. sets the table and we eat quietly to set a focused tone for the school-day.  She either draws or plays while I clean up -- but not with anything noisy, digital, or electric.  I encourage stillness in the morning and have found that the less riled up she is before we start our day, the better.

Next it's Circle Time.  We sit on our zafus facing one another in the classroom and start our day with this gatha:

We are the leaves of one tree

We are the waves of one sea

The time has come for us to live as one

After the morning verse, I say a cheery little prayer such as, "Mother Nature, Universe, gods and goddesses, buddhas and bodhisatvas, ancestors, and fairies -- we're calling on all of the energies of the earth to be present in our classroom today... help our hearts grow wise so that we may know peace within and create peace here on the earth.  Blessed be, so be it, and let it be so!"

Then I say, "let us enjoy breathing together," ring our little gong, and we sit for a few breaths to focus and really arrive in the classroom.  I encourage A. to listen to all of the sounds, feel her breath in her nostrils, and notice all of her feelings.   Sometimes we'll lay on our backs with stones on our bellies and watch the stones rise and fall with our breath.  Other mornings, I ask her to listen to the gong and raise her hand when the sound has completely vanished.

Next, I invite A. to go to her "Creative Infinity"  -- the creative center of our being where the universe comes from.  Here, we look for a virtue in the form of an animal totem to "bring back" to the classroom and keep with us all day.  Some of A.'s favorites are the Cheetah of Loving-kindness and the Deer of Compassion.

After Creative Infinity comes Sharing Time.  We pass a basket of sticks and stones between us - each selecting one as a "talking stick" or a "stillness stone."  I invite A. to share anything she wants -- a difficult feeling, a story, or a favorite toy.  I usually share the calender and then use the rest of my share to introduce, review, or expand on a dharma or mindfulness unit.

Then it's time for the Main Lesson.  For Kindergarten we alternated between Language Arts and Math and I usually used an archetypal story to introduce new letters, words, phonics, numbers, or math concepts (i.e. King Plus and Queen Minus).  After drawing the story in her Main Lesson Book, singing the spelling of new words, or marching out the math facts, it's time for a little movement.

One of our favorites is a chant that we've added asanas (yoga poses) to:

Earth my body (mountain pose)

Water my blood (five pointed star pose)

Air my breath (standing prayer/pranam)

And fire my spirit (clap hands and wave them above your head)

Then it's lunch time.  While I prepare our food, she has playtime inside.  We usually set the table and recently started a new ritual of setting our food down by the kitchen alter for blessings before we eat (that's Saraswati, the goddess of creativity and learning, in the picture frame).  

Here's a great little gatha to make lunch more mindful:

Earth who gives to us this food

Sun who makes it ripe and good

Dear Earth, dear Sun

By you we live,

Our loving thanks

To you we give.

After lunch it's outside time.  I try to incorporate some Earth Science into our outside time but sometimes A. just plays.  After an hour or so, it's back in for an afternoon lesson.  I use this time for art, music, dance, yoga, science, or social studies. We alternate through these subjects throughout the week and I'm always amazed at how they integrate so naturally with the morning lesson.

We end each school day with a verse that I found in the Oak Meadow Kindergarten Syllabus.  I've expanded it and added yoga poses:

I can be as small as a small, small seed (child's pose)

I can be as tall as a tall, tall tree (tree pose)

As strong as a mountain (mountain pose)

As brave as can be (warrior III)

Because I'm a Goddess (goddess pose)

Can't you see!

One of the greatest things about educating at home is making it personal.  Incorporating our spiritual path into our studies with gathas, mantras, and mindfulness exercises has helped us strengthen our connection with one another (and with the earth) and deepened our awareness about the larger context from which our lives emerge.  What's more, this holistic method of incorporating core subjects with our spiritual path sets a framework for keeping our minds and hearts integrated.  I believe this is a path to cultivating more than intellect... it is a path to a wise heart.  

Lovebugs of Compassion

Today was the first day of our summer home school co-op.  Our July mindfulness unit is compassion and we kicked off our studies with a discussion about what the word means.  The girls did a great job naming examples. They said:
 
Understanding
Loving speech
Caring
Feeling other people’s feelings
Comforting others when they are sad
Empathy
A soft heart
Saying Namaste!

After circle time, I read the story of Kuan Yin from The Lady of Ten Thousand Names: Goddess Stories from Many Cultures retold by Burleigh Muten.  Kuan Yin is the goddess of compassion and her name means, "She Who Hears the Cries of the World."   

In this telling of her story, Kuan Yin starts her life as a princess who wants nothing more than to spend her days praying for the sick and nursing underfed animals back to health.  When she chooses a life in a nunnery over her father's wish for her to marry, her father burns the nunnery to the ground.  When she escapes the fire, he orders her execution.  The princess wakes from the sleep of death in the land of the gods where she earns her name, "She Who Hears the Cries of the World" by looking down to Earth and assisting those in trouble.


One day, she hears the cries of her own father and, despite his treatment of her, she goes to his rescue.  Because her heart was full of nothing but pure love, she is able to heal the king of his malady by sacrificing herself.  The Earth trembles, rainbow-colored clouds gather over the palace, the scent of lotus blossoms fill the air, and flowers rain down on Earth.  Kuan Yin rises into the sky like the round golden moon, spreading her glowing light all over the Earth.  From that day forward, the king shared his wealth with the kingdom, no one ever went hungry, and healers were always available for the sick.


The girls took picture notes while I read the story.  We talked about practicing to have a heart that holds nothing but love and how letting go of anger softens our heart and brings peace into the world.  Then they shared their pictures and answered a few listening comprehension questions.


Next it was time for a little movement.  The girls declared themselves "love bugs of compassion" and proceeded to buzz around the house giggling.  After a little silliness, it was time for some yoga.  With gratitude for her life-giving energies, we giggled our way through a few rounds of sun salutations.


For the last part of our day, we put our compassion into action with a little community service project that I'm organizing through Children Creating Change.   I'm connecting kids with nursing home pen pals at the local home where A. gives piano recitals twice per year.  The girls know that they may never get a letter in return but they're sending pictures and notes to bring a little cheer into the lives of some special grandmas.  If your child would like to adopt a grandma or grandpa, please post a comment below and I'll happily facilitate the connection.

The girls just finished eating fresh raspberries from our favorite local farm... and were convinced this one was a heart-shaped raspberry of compassion.  Now they're back in the classroom giggling and coloring.  Their little squeals remind me that compassion comes in many colors and is as essential as knowledge.  The Dalai Lama once said, “Each of us in our own way can try to spread compassion into people’s hearts. Western civilizations these days place great importance on filling the human 'brain' with knowledge, but no one seems to care about filling the human 'heart' with compassion."  I couldn't agree more and look forward to nurturing a little more compassion with these lovebugs this summer.

Magic Mindful Moments

Teaching mindfulness to our kids can only come from the depth of our own practice.  At the same time, our children are often our best teachers.  Even in the midst of chaos, our kids can draw us smack dab into the present moment.  Sometimes all it takes is a word or even just a certain look in his or her eyes and we are transported out of busyness and into that place of connection with our child. 

In this way, our kids are magical mindfulness magnets.  They pull us right into the now. 

These moments come in a plethora of forms -- when they need us, when they are hurting, when they are scared, when they cry, and when their joy is exuberant and flowing out like a stream of flowers.

Is there a certain time of day when you feel most connected with your child?  Do you have a memory of a time when your child pulled you into the present moment?  I'd love to hear about those magical moments of mindfulness.

[Originally posted to my new discussion group for moms, Everyday Mindfulness: Raising Conscious and Compassionate Kids]

Life is the Best Teacher

Inn at Schoolhouse Creek, Mendocino, CA

Summer always reminds me that life is the best teacher.  During the school year our minds lean towards learning through books and curriculum.  We focus on all of the things we are "supposed" to know; on achieving the prescribed academic and developmental milestones.  In summer, as poet William Carlos Williams wrote, "the songs sings itself."

I love this time for letting go and organic learning.  When we listen to our life, we see that it is the best teacher.  Summer is the perfect time for slowing down and cultivating this mindfulness.  With our kids out of school, we have an opportunity to learn from them, to cultivate more closeness with them, and to focus on matters of the heart more than report cards and test scores. At the same time, it's easy to feel overwhelmed by this change in the rhythm of our lives and sometimes September, when they go back to school, can feel like a relief. 

How do you cultivate closeness with your kids during summer?  Have you taken a camping trip lately?  Have you been to the beach or the lake?  Are you noticing the little things (like bugs and butterflies and how the leaves have all grown dark green and full since spring?)  Have you found the transition into summer difficult?  How do you manage this change in your schedule?

How can we use summer to help life be the best teacher?  I'd love to hear from you, mamas.  All replies are welcome!

[Originally posted in my new group for moms, Everyday Mindfulness: Raising Conscious and Compassionate Kids.]

More than a Mind

Today was one more day in what feels like an endless stream of unschooling days.  We've been off of our regular schedule due to seasonal flu but, despite a little sleep deprivation, we're in good spirits and enjoyed the relaxing feel of this day.

Being off of our schedule is usually hard on us.  By the end of winter break I was itching to get back to school but this week has been different.  It's given me a chance to observe how much learning takes place even when we're really not planning for it.  It's also helped me connect more deeply with each moment.

This slowing down and connecting moment-to-moment is called mindfulness and it's a practice that has greatly benefited our family.  If you're not familiar with it, mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to both your inner and outer world without judgment.  It's being fully present in the moment instead of lost in plans, worries, or other distracting thoughts.  When we come to the moment with all of our awareness, we give our children the thing they want most from us -- us.  But the benefits don't stop there.

With mindfulness, we learn to see ourselves and those around us with more clarity.  We begin to recognize our habits, good and bad, and create an opportunity for growth and transformation.  When mindfulness is practiced as a family, we learn how to create joy and manifest a deep, loving bond with our kids.  We see them for who they really are and this allows us to engage more effectively in their lives.  We can't be there for them if we don't know them.  What's more, our ability to model and teach mindfulness can only come from the depths of our own practice.

Practicing mindfulness is teaching me to have patience and compassion for myself -- something that I didn't even know I was missing. This practice is certainly on the rise in the West and there are some great online places to learn more. 

For more information, check out mindfulness together, a social network created by Susan Kaiser Greenland, and mindfulkids, a site operated by students of social activist and Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh. But don't think that this is something complicated.  Mindfulness just means paying attention without judgment. 

Today's mindfulness activities consisted of watercolor painting, a game of chess, piano, and a little dance/movement.  Most importantly, today we engaged in nurturing, constructive activities together and gave each our full attention. 

Both dance and painting demand mindful attention.  In dance, our awareness drops down into our body.  We get out of our busy thoughts and focus on our movements.  The same thing happens when we express ourselves through music or visual arts.  Just engaging in these activities with your child is the beginning of developing mindful awareness.  When we dance or play music our inner light turns on; we connect with that part of ourselves that is more than our mind.

Playing chess is a little different.  It may sound challenging to play with a young child, but as a beginner myself, it's really fun.  I think the trick is seeing through your child's eyes.  We turn our game into imaginative play and make funny voices while trying to capture pieces.  Remembering the direction of each playing piece is an excellent memory building tool and taking the time to consider the consequences of your move before making it is a wonderful life lesson.  

In chess, as in life, there are always consequences for unconscious actions.  Learning to pause long enough to consider the effect of your actions is an essential part of our at-home curriculum.  Bringing your attention to the game and keeping it there gives your child the attention they crave and gives you an exercise in patience.


The last mindfulness practice for this day is one that we have planned for bedtime.  Connecting with our kids and engaging in their education means honoring their inner world and not just their mind.  Today begins Winter Feast for the Soul, a 40 day spiritual practice commitment.  This forty day event was was inspired by a quote from Rumi: "What nine months does for the embryo forty early mornings will do for your growing awareness."  My family is committing to eight minutes of stillness each day -- four minutes in the morning and four at bedtime.  We're starting and finishing each day breathing together, bringing our attention to our breath, and just... being... still.  

I'm still looking forward to getting back on our regular schedule on Monday but until then, I'm remembering that a child is more than a mind and enjoying things just how they are... right now... in this moment.